*gets gay married during the purge*
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world
*walks into starbucks* lemme get uh spaghetti bolognese macchiato
"sir we don’t serve that"
don’t bullshit me i saw the secret menu on instagram
WE ONLY USE LEASHES BECAUSE DOGS CANT HOLD HANDS